As many of you may know, I work for an independent phone retailer in the UK, and one of the biggest ones, too.
Here are few tips in understanding how to get the best service from me:
DISCLAIMER: I treat everyone – staff, customers or visitors with respect and politeness at all times, these basic tips will simply get staff in a retail/service-based to be even more helpful for you. This is (mostly) for entertainment only, but bearing these in mind the next time you walk into a shop, will guarantee you the best service of your life!
GOLDEN RULE:
1) No shouting, calling, gesturing and/or pointing. And absolutely no clicking your fingers.
It amazes me how many people still expect service of any level by treating the staff as if they are not even human. Wait your turn in the queue like everyone else, or if it is urgent, try something like: ‘excuse me’ or how about this – we wear name badges for a reason. Try calling my name. Staff like it when people take the time to learn our name – it shows that you pay attention and that you actually have some intelligence.
2)When I say ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do that’ or something to that effect, it means I CAN’T DO THAT.
This is usually because the till/IT system doesn’t allow for your request, and this is more than likely for a good reason (i.e it’s in line with policy). Don’t get me wrong, I sometimes hate the rules I work with, and I will be the first person willing to bend the rules if I can, but can’t means CAN’T not won’t. I may be able to get a supervisor or manager to have a go, but (in my case) considering I was taught everything I know by my manager, quite perhaps not.
3) No matter how shitty or crap your situation is, I will still smile, and make a joke of it. Try to do the same.
This is a staff member’s usual way of trying to ease tension. We hate shouting, angry customers. Especially when we are absolutely powerless to prevent whatever fate has or is about to happen to you. If you get news that you are unhappy with, take a deep breath and think before you go off on one at me. Shouting will not make my till do anything different, and by being as calm and polite to me as I have to you, things will go a lot quicker. Who knows? I may bend the rules a bit for you, and I will most certainly be more sympathetic.
4) I never fob customers off or lie to them. Neither do my colleagues.
From time-to-time, people make mistakes. Inluding the poor sucker dealing with your problem for you on the other end of the queue. I have NEVER intentionally mis-sold, or lied to get a sale (or to get you out of my sight – see note 1). To be honest, it’s not worth the hassle of you finding out the truth and coming in to nip my head about it for the next 30 mins. That’s not say mistakes have been made; of course they have, but where a mistake has been made, we always do what we can to undo it. Ultimatley, retail get screwed either way; either I cock up and pay for your mistake, or someone else cocks up and I pay for their mistake; or YOU cock up and I pay for your mistake. I can’t comment on other people’s words unless they wrote them down on your account notes, but unless the person is a complete fucktard (or the manager or a newbie), they wouldn’t tell you the complete opposite of company policy unless they had heard it from someone else or have authority to override policy.
Of course, if you feel fobbed off or ignored it’s probably because you weren’t interested in what I had to say: be open to explanation and this concept that you were served by someone with feelings.
5) Be friendly with us at all times, and we will be nice to you
If we’re quiet and I say ‘Hello’ or ‘Can I help you?’ – the purpose of this is to correctly direct your enquiry, not to get you to buy shit. My customers only walk out the door with things they wanted or were reccommended to them. If you start ignoring me or shouting at me for introducing myself and doing my job, fuck you. You will get the minimum standard of service, and if dining at a restaurant you deserve every loogie hocked into your meal, you cretin.
6)Interrupting me will result in crap service
This applies to both you and the person I was dealing with – if I’m dealing with you, I will be listening to you and concentrating on your needs/wants. If someone comes along and wants to ask a quick question, like ‘how much is this’ or ‘where is that,’ and in fairness it’s not that obvious, I just about tolerate that. A ‘quick question’ that actually involves you pushing to the front of the queue will more than likely get you in trouble (either from the staff or the customer you just barged through to), as this break my concentration and piss off my customer.
7)Please form orderly queues
There are times when my colleagues and I are busy. Like, really busy. Really really busy. When this happens, please form one queue unless directed by a staff member. If everyone decides to stand randomly in the shop until they are seen, people are likely to get forgotten about, including YOU. I am not God, Buddah, Jesus or any other kind of miracle-maker. I am also not Mystic Meg. I don’t track the queue, so when I say ‘Next please’ I’d really appreciate it if I know exactly who’s coming next. If you don’t know for sure if you’re next, or if you think someone is pushing, I won’t know myself unless it’s blatantly obvious, and will gleefully watch you and the other punter kick each other’s heads in until someone makes it to the till. Consider it evoloution on steroids.
8 ) We are not ‘you guys’
Being generalised as some faceless, nameless person by someone on the other end of the counter is going to get you treated like that too.
I don’t know who this ‘you guys’ business is but I’m guessing they somehow sound similar to my shop’s name and considering how long I’ve been in retail, I’ve yet to find a store called ‘you lot’ or ‘you folks’ either. Blaming something that isn’t the responsibility of my branch/department/country/planet is going to get you no-where. What I will do is find out what happened, who’s responsible and fix it, if possible.I will contact them (if I can) and get them to sort it. If they won’t take responsibility, then I’ll find out who they are passing the buck on to and chase them up. They may need time to investigate the matter theselves, and especially in big companies, beuracracy is rife: what would take me minutes can sometimes take other departments DAYS. This is not my fault, so if I tell you this please don’t shoot the messenger.
9) ‘I expect better service than this’
You expect too much, probably. I guarantee you we bend over backwards (to the extent permitted that we won’t get sacked) for our customers, ESPECIALLY THE NICE, FRIENDLY ONES. From time-to-time things go wrong and I either hit a brick wall with my higher-uppers or with you as a customer. When I explain that I’m doing as much as I can, this comment will not improve the situation. Try something like this “Is there anything else that can be done please?”. I’ll even take “Is you manager available?”. I don’t get scared of, nor do I hesitate to get some authori-tah in when it’s needed; my manager will not sack me for doing my job or getting you the help you need.
10) Sometimes the manager isn’t available
Managers are, surprisingly, human too (I refer to those that still deal with the public and don’t sit in the back and get stuck with paperwork and admin all day – those guys are usually no more helpful, in my opinion, than pond scum). They get days off, and even take holidays. They even might be serving a customer right now. The fact that he has taken a holiday the day you came in is not to be met with a skeptic ‘how convenient’. Whether you believe me or not will still not magic his ass out of Turkey and plonk him behind me. What I will do is try to use my experience and judgement on the matter and help you as best as I can. If you still need it escalated, I’m afraid to say I’ll have to either get him to speak to you when he comes back with a glowing tan or give you the number for customer services.
11) Call centre sales people tend to suck, but not as bad as you doing it yourself online without research
Do you have any idea how often I have to clean up a mess that starts with ‘I bought this online’ or ‘ I bought this over the phone’? There are occassions where these people screw up or perhaps you didn’t hear them right. Either way, now I have to deal with someone else’s shit because they couldn’t be bothered to do the job properly (i extend this curse to people who do not read everything before buying an item online). This may/may not be your fault, but shouting at me because you aren’t happy with ‘the man on the phone’ isn’t going to change squat. I will fix it for you. Next time, come into a shop and actually LOOK at what you’re buying.
12) RTFM
’nuff said.
I don’t mind spending ages with a customer, no matter how busy, provided they want a quick tip or setup help. But to ask me every single function on the device and then expect a 10 minute lecture on the use of the handset is the reason manuals are still printed. If you have actually read the manual and are still stuck, by all means come in. I understand just as much as you that these manuals are usually nothing more than poorly-written quick start guides (if that), and if it’s not clear or if it’s not documented, then I will help you out no problem. But if you come back with a phone and were too ignorant and lazy to read a goddamn piece of paper, then you will also get minimum standards of service.
I have had, no doubt as you can tell, a LONG day. Each one of these things have happened to me TODAY.
Multiply this by the number of employees in retail, serving the public, all over the world, every day.
That’s a lot of stress assuming every customer is nice to me; most of these customers above were far from nice today and NONE of it was my/my colleagues’ fault. If every customer today came in calm, collected and understood the shit we deal with every day, then we wouldn’t have so much shit to deal with, and when we do we could both laugh heartily once it’s sorted and you’d have a much better experience in-store.
Of course, if you do get dealt with by a complete jerk, tell him/her that you’re not happy with how you are being treated. Nine times out of ten, The sales clerk’s attitude could be :
a) I’m tired, it’s been a long day
b)That last customer was a total nightmare
or
c) This looks like it’s going to be a nightmare situation
neither A nor B are your fault, but by remaining polite calm and friendly I bet the sales clerk’s attitude will improve.
In short: when in doubt, please try to understand what we deal with on a regular basis and you will get the most rockingest service of your life. And if you don’t, you are shopping in the wrong places; Find a place where the experience is better.